The Lawrence Frank of fantasy basketball used to run a team with a friend, but has since been relegated to keeping daily notes of every matchup and transaction. Awkward.
Whenever someone makes their draft pick, the David Stern of fantasy basketball will shake their hand. They might even want their picture taken too. It’s a good old classy, formal time. Well, sometimes:
The Brian Scalabrine of fantasy basketball may look like a scrub, but he dominates every league on planet earth.
Known for yelling after every single point, rebound, assist, field goal attempt, free throw, block, steal, and turnover, the Carlos Boozer of fantasy basketball just needs to chill out.
The Andrea Bargnani of fantasy basketball has no presence of mind whatsoever.
Can also be applied to J.R. Smith.
Similar to the Shawn Kemp of fantasy basketball, the Charles Barkley of league owners shows up to the draft overweight. Also, players who either lack a post game or live by the three-pointer will never be drafted.
Not to be confused with the Jason Kidd of fantasy basketball, the Billy King of league owners lives in the past by drafting players who were great five years ago. Everyone loves trading with this kind of league owner, one who would trade every single draft pick for the right to add Michael Jordan if he ever returned to the NBA.
Photo: Mark Runyon | BasketballSchedule.net
The Tom Thibodeaus of fantasy basketball exhaust themselves every week, spending far too much time looking for that extra point or rebound and not enough time eating and sleeping. Take a breather.
If you’ve ever pretended you were sick or faked an injury just to make your opponent feel bad and let you win, you are the Vince Carter of fantasy basketball.
If it takes you seven seconds or less to draft every player, you are the Mike D‘Antoni of fantasy basketball. You also never draft any centers and, to your advantage, hope everyone else drafts their players lightning-quick too.